Kathy Mace suffered much from the evil policy of disconnection in Scientology. When you read her blog, A Distant Flower Grows, you can feel it. Follow the link and you will be rewarded by some truly heartfelt reflections of a former Scientologist.
She says that Scientology ruins familys. Words that ring all too true. In this series we have run into disconnection many times, all the stories are full of pain and guilt.
“Scientology PTS/SP tech & disconnection mandates ruined my family and caused untold heartache – even death. I went along with the protocol, just as I went along with believing I could make a change with keeping scientology working . I thought that was the right thing to do but all the while I was forfeiting my integrity and alienating my family for the ‘greater good’.
Early on I had been made to disconnect from my parents. Later on I found out that my husband Paul Mace and I had been alienated from each other, without either of us recognizing it in time. By the time I realized what happened, it was too late to repair the situation, as our lives had moved on.”
If a loved one dies don’t look for much in the way of hand-holding from Scientologists. Just pay for more auditing.
In Scientology, death is nothing but a “farewell, see you next time around” affair, and so their orphaned daughter’s cries were met with enforced auditing, of which I am guilty of pushing. Then Paul’s widow Sara left the church. Being a scientologist meant doing what was right according to the church, no matter what the costs. Once again, disconnection became yet another wrong solution. (More about my years with Paul Mace and scientology later down the page)
At that point it did not matter about family because I’d already disconnected from most, even by default from the ones through death. I stayed on in the church and did the things that every compliant scientologist does. This went on for years.
Eventually, push came to shove. I finally stood up to Int Management against some out tech and injustices I had been privy to and in a heartbeat the tables were turned. I was now the enemy to be silenced by a threat of no eternity. I admit that when attacked, I cowered but I did not give up the way Int wanted me to. With no apparent recourse, and the refusal to sink to the implied idea of committing suicide, I left quietly and without apparent sorrow. Unfortunately, a shattered life knows no grief at the onset. Like a good robotic Scientologist in fear of the dreaded SP label, I quietly moved on, severing Scientology ties as I went along, trying to rebuild my live or what was left of it.
It took years before I would venture onto the internet and discover the lies we’d been told, the heartache of others, the corrupt organization which I’d given so many years of my life to. Realizing that I had been as uncaring and callous with disconnecting from my loved ones as the church had been with me, I set about to repair the pain I caused, but disconnection hurts deep and I am still eating crow for my part in it. It’s ok. Lives were ruined and being flippant about it for so long requires that a price be paid”