Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? # 16

Behold the might brain of the Scientology OT!

Purported abilities of the super powerful OTs (operating thetans) in Scientology have ranged drastically  from the ability to stop an earthquake to spirits haunting a horse to riding around in a car that lacked basic operating parts.  But here we have, . .  well, a not so great claim.  This one is about light bulbs.

From Advance!# 138, “OT Phenomena”

“I am becoming more and more cause as I move up The Bridge.  It just permeates how I live these days.  And because I am more in control my prediction is very good in all kinds of ways, from the more complex to the more simple.  Here’s a typical example, just a little thing but nevertheless it illustrates what I mean. “I was about to go shopping with my roommate.  We had made our list and gone over it, but just as we were about to leave I realized that the porch light was going to burn out in the next few minutes.  I knew we were out of light bulbs and so I told my roommate to put light bulbs on the list.  He wondered why I was adding it at the last minute and I simply said that the porch light was going to burn out in the next few minutes. “He looked at me like I was a little strange but wrote down light bulbs on the list.  Then we got our stuff together and headed straight for the door.  Right as I opened the door the porch light blew out.  I turned round and looked at him and smiled and said it was a good thing we had light bulbs on the list.” — A. R.

How many OTs does it take to change a light bulb?

Published in: on February 29, 2012 at 4:55 am  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? # 15

Behold the brain of the super-Scientologists!!

Here we have two buffoons who believe that they drove their car around without a distributor cap.  The picture below shows the kind of car they must have been driving.

From Advance! (magazine for OT’s) #127.

One day a friend and I (both of us are OT III) were doing a tune up on my old car – new distributor cap, spark plugs, oil, the whole thing.  After the tune up we put the hood down and decided to give it a test drive around the block.
When we came back we opened up the hood, and we found out that somehow we had driven the car around the block without the distributor cap on – which is impossible!  But not to a couple of OTs!


OT car without a distributor cap.

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? # 14

Behold the super powers of the Scientologists.

Jeff Hawkins was a former editor of advance! magazine in which the majority of these OT stories are to be found.  He assures us that these people, who have taken the upper level courses in Scientology, are for real and truly think that they have super powers.  But can they show them??  Here is what Jeff has to say.

“So a valid challenge to someone claiming OT Abilities would be to ask them to demonstrate those abilities. That isn’t unreasonable or “entheta.” If someone says they have an ability, then demonstrate it.  If you have the ability to view things remotely, then tell me what’s in the next room. If you have the ability to move objects, then move one. If you can read minds, then tell me what I’m thinking.

Of course, the minute you suggest this, you tend to get things like “Asking for proof is an invalidation of an OT,”or “I don’t do parlor tricks,” or “that’s a hidden standard.” (No, it’s not hidden. It’s in scores of Advance Magazines and LRH references. It’s not hidden when you’re promoting it. It’s only hidden when you’re asked to prove it.)

And another added one I hadn’t thought of: “People who demand physical universe proof of OT abilities are down tone brain-dead skeptics and cannot perceive spiritual things anyway. Why waste my precious time tossing pearls to swine.” Really? I’m sorry, but I don’t see how asking for proof of these claims is either downtone or spiritually unaware. What, it’s “uptone” or “spiritually enlightened” to take these things on faith and not ask for some kind of proof??

And of course, you hear that OTs that cannot demonstrate these abilities “have out-tech on their case” or “are PTS” or “are the effect of David Miscavige.” Sure, they could play the piano if only it weren’t for all these SPs!

“From Advance! 34, page 10.

 An O.T. Rescue

Tonight, as I ate my dinner, I became aware of a distress call. It emanated from some distance away and seemed quite urgent, involving some life-and-death situation. I pinpointed the source in the French countryside and went to take a look
I found a peasant woman tied to a chair in a small building. She was surrounded by a dozen men whose intentions were obviously less than ‘bon.’ Her tone level was terror and the men appeared to be in sadism, punishing bodies, or something equally unappetizing.
Being without my body, I decided to handle the situation with pictures and emotions. So, I permeated the room with “fear of discovery” and pictures of the police closing in on the villains. Fortunately, at this same time there was a young couple coming down the road. Their noise and physical approach added reality to the pictures I was generating.
The ‘bad guys’ fell for the deception and fled, leaving the heroine alone in the room. Naturally they were caught a short time later when they blundered into the police.
As the woman was still tied and gagged, my job was not yet complete. So, installed curious feelings in the young man and girl and they wondered obligingly into the cabin where they rescued the woman and helped her back to her family.
All the way home and for some time after she kept stretching her arms to the sky thanking me for saving her life. However, try as I would, I could not convince her that I was not ‘God.’ She could not grasp the term ‘Scientology’ and I finally settled for leaving here with the name ‘Hubbard.’ Perhaps, some day, she will find out for herself the magic I was trying to bestow upon here. I hope so.

–Fred Roeschke, OT”

Super OT man lends a hand in France.

Published in: on February 29, 2012 at 2:58 am  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? # 13


A number of the cases cited in this series on OT powers in Scientology are so downright crazy that the sanity of the person who wrote this “tail” must be in question.  In other words I think the mope who wrote this is just plain nuts.  But what I would like to know is if that person was crazy before  he got into Scientology or did he lose his grip after finding out that his body in covered in the spirits of deal aliens?  In today’s story we have a ghost haunting a horse, it reminds of the talking horse on the old “Mister Ed,” show from years ago.

“When I was doing my Purification Rundown, I picked up the pictures of a being who was stuck in being a harness horse in earlier years.    “I located the garage where the being was- actually a converted horse barn.  I got in communication with him and convinced him that since I was the only one who ‘saw’ him (his mock-up), I must know something.  I got him to accept the idea of taking a human body and becoming aware.  I showed him the Scientology symbol and cross.  Then I directed him to a hospital where there was a new body.  Later that evening I got communication from the being.  He was with his new, loving family – and already forgetting he was a horse.” K.H.

(Advance! issue 95, p.14)

The OTs could use some horse-sense.

Published in: on February 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? # 12

Behold the power of the Scientologists.

Jeff Hawkins, former editor of Advance! and ex-Scientologist, says this about the powers of the top-level members and their wonderful powers.  “In fact, in my 35 years in Scientology, I never met a single Scientologist who could actually demonstrate these types of abilities. I never met a super-being. Sure, I met a lot of wonderful people, intelligent people, dedicated people. But no one who could demonstrate what the Church promoted as “OT Abilities.”

True as that statement may be we can still enjoy the claims of the OTs.  This story concerns a real iron man, or at least a guy who knows how take a fall.  Too bad his super abilities did not point out the danger of those sinister steps BEFORE he came tripping lightly along.

Advance #131, page 22:

I had been using the ethics conditions to sort out a situation I was in and experienced a huge win, a major breakthrough.  I was so keyed out that I ran down the passageway… However, I’d forgotten that in this particular passageway there were stairs, and right where the stairs were, the ceiling sloped down. In my excitement I decided to leap to the bottom of the stairs, and I jumped.  My head collided with the sloping ceiling at a very fast speed. I was exterior and I remember thinking as soon as I perceived the impact, “That was a mistake!”  I was completely aware of what was happening as my body flew through the air… Even though my body was in extreme danger, I had complete certainty I would be OK. My body crashed to the floor, right where I knew it would.  The back of my head smashed against the concrete floor.  In “normal” circumstances my back should have snapped in half and my head should have been very badly damaged. I went back into my body and I didn’t feel much pain… and after a couple of minutes I got up off the ground and walked away.  I didn’t even have a bruise on my head.  The onlookers were completely amazed and I took a huge win…

Superman might have been an early OT.

Published in: on February 26, 2012 at 9:57 pm  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? # 11

Behold the power of the Scientologists.

One of the hooks that has been used to lure unwary people into Scientology over the years is the promise of special powers.  These wondrous abilities are to be had by taking the upper level courses known as the “OT” or operating thetan levels.  The cost is high, tens of thousands of dollars and the courses that lead up to those levels are many.  But the reward?  Here is what L. Ron Hubbard said an OT can do.
“A thetan who is completely rehabilitated and can do everything a thetan should do, such as move MEST and control others from a distance, or create his own universe; a person who is able to create his own universe or, living in the MEST universe is able to create illusions perceivable by others at will, to handle MEST universe objects without mechanical means and to have and feel no need of bodies or even the MEST universe to keep himself and his friends interested in existence.” Scientology 8-8008.
Despite the rhetoric the evidence is found wanting.  Super men and super women are conspicuously absent from the ranks of the Scientologists.  Claims are made though in their various publications.  Sometimes great feats are alleged.  Other times no so great wonders are produced.  In this case it is one of those smaller feats that is alleged.  We are dealing with fried chicken in this story.

From “AOLA Clear”, Issue 116, October 17, 1974.

“Yesterday I missed dinner and was hungry. At 8:00 the other supervisor (OT) walked in with a piece of fried chicken and said ‘here’. I asked her why she brought it. She said she just knew she should bring me a piece of chicken – that I was hungry. I was amazed!

 Nancy Bratten, OT.”


Published in: on February 25, 2012 at 8:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? # 10

The retarded dillweeds who believe that they can manipulate space and time are at the top of the totem pole in Scientology.  It took years of study and hundreds of thousands of dollars to reach this level of foolishness.  Here we have one of these clueless oafs, known as “OTs” using his great powers to fix a coffee machine.  Not only did he fix the machine so that he could get himself a good cup of coffee but he felt good enough about it to have his story put in a Scientology magazine.

Source: “Advance!” #17.

“Today was fantastic. I walked downstairs to get some coffee and the coffee machine was buzzing. So I put my hands out and moved them around the machine putting out beams to bounce back and thereby I could tell by watching the particle flow exactly where the error in the machine was. I found it and corrected the molecular structure of that area of the machine and the buzzing stopped.   Then I heard my air conditioner rattling so I looked at why it was rattling and it stopped.   I’m becoming much more at cause, I love it–like superman!

–Michael Pincus, OT”

Published in: on February 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? #9

Behold the Scientology brains!!!

Over the years Scientology has made some astonishing claims as to what their adherents who have taken their upper level courses can do.  These people, termed “OTs” meaning that they are “Operating Thetans,” have the ability to travel in time, speak with ghosts (human and otherwise) manipulate matter, are immune to disease, read minds, see objects and people by remote viewing and have soaring intellects.  Where these powerful beings are kept is unknown except to say that people with great powers are conspicuously absent from the visible ranks of Scientology. 

Claims of these almighty abilities have been printed in the Scientology publication Advance!  When I started reading these OT success stories I just assumed that these tales were all the product of Scientology writers making fanciful claims at the behest of the editor.  But the truth is worse, Far Worse.  In his book Counterfeit Dreams Jeff Hawkins, who once served as an editor for that magazine, tells us that these stories were solicited from the Scientology org.  Readers were encouraged to write their OT experiences.  In other words, these people really believed that these things had actually happened!!  In view of their stories it seems incredible to outsiders that anyone could delude themselves enough to put their names on such drivel.  But the zany cult goes the extra mile to keep everyone else entertained.

In this particular bit of Scientology drivel an idiot OT thinks that he has caused part of the sky to explode.

I was in my office on the 11th floor of our building when I heard the Concord [sic] (jet) going over above. I looked out the window and saw the plane flying low to the north. The weather was warm and mildly cloudy. About five minutes later, while still in my office, I became aware of a mass one quarter mile up in the sky. I looked out but could see nothing.
After I sat down again, my awareness of the mass continued so I put a beam up towards it. A thunderous explosion followed and I received a tremendous return flow along the beam, which lifted my body at least six inches out of the chair. My secretary came running through to tell me some fool must be dynamiting in the centre of the city and near our building at that.
Later that same evening in the Foundation Org, someone mentioned that they had heard a crash like thunder and the time but on looking out the window could not see any rain clouds. They work on the other side of town and were still puzzled by the bang.
No doubt some kind of ridge had built up, and on my poking a beam into it, it had become unbalanced and dramatically dispersed.
Woke up the city nicely and caused me to chuckle no end.
John Protheroe, OT

From Advance! magazine, issue 17

Published in: on February 24, 2012 at 8:51 pm  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? #8

Behold the brain power of the Scientologists.

More babble from the OTs who are the cream of Scientology thinkers.  These people, who have enlivened the stories in this series by their daft and crazed belief that they have wonderful special powers, have spent many thousands of dollars and many years of study to reach this level.   These stories which are so funny at one level are so pathetic and lame in another.  There is some serious mental illness at work here.

I was walking past the big tree of Ron’s outside the front of the Manor, and I said to it “How old are you?” and got an answer from a thetan somewhere in it. It didn’t quite fit with the age of the Manor and the surroundings, and then I suddenly realized or found out that he’d come from Lebanon or somewhere as a young sapling. Then the thetan up and left.

Glyn Ketterige

From Advance! issue 16, “OT Phenomena, page 17.

Two wooden brains talking to each other.

Published in: on February 24, 2012 at 5:26 am  Leave a Comment  

Oh, those crazy OTs, what will they think of next? #7

Every time you think that you have reached the uttermost limit of human credulity and stupidity in Scientology you get proved wrong.  I thought that it would be hard to beat the last story in which some lame monkey-spanking Scientologists found and destroyed an alien weather-making station in the hills around Phoenix, Arizona.  But, heck and darn, somebody beat that by a mile.  Here a moronic jerk makes the astounding claim that he was able to put a fault line into better alignment which thereby averted an earthquake!  Of course the magazine printed it to the delight, no doubt, of all the silly asses who believe in this sort of stuff.

Some days ago I went to bed thinking that something should be done about earthquakes in California. What could it be?
I had the idea of putting a tractor beam through the earth – east and west. I did it and put an anchor point at each end of the line and gave it a little nudge to be sure everything was snug.
Almost instantly – there was a jolt and my bed dropped about 1/2 inch. WOW!
Emil Bates, OT

[from Advance! magazine, issue 15, p. 20]

Published in: on February 23, 2012 at 7:49 pm  Comments (1)